Lion CC skulks off Richmond Green

 

Some matches hold the attention until the last ball. Two teams tussling, competing fiercely and fervently for the right to be called the best. This was not one of them. In cricketing terminology, the Lion politely bent over and was royally spanked by the evil Richmond franchise that are the Cricketers.

A meeting was had in the days before this (mis) match where it was debated, somewhat pointlessly in the end, that the Cricketers always thrashed everyone else and this was just not cricket. But then, we all knew that. For the Lion and I suspect others, it is about taking the odd game off the most professionally-run pub side since Lashings CC. Who can forget James Easton’s defiant 17 off the last over to manage a wholly unexpected tie…?

Though the setting of a splendidly sunny Richmond green, and not a used condom in sight this time, was a major plus. Most of our cricket was not. Dom and I started and bowled pretty tidily by own standards and as it turned out, like the proverbial Glen McGrath when compared to a few brutal overs later in the innings.

It don’t know what it is about Richmond Green but something spooks us. We turn up and start bowling half trackers and beamers when we don’t tend to at Teddington Town CC. A shame really because we’re better than that but what the hell, it’s just an evening thrash (accurate as it turns out).

Needless to say the league leaders punished anything short, wide or balls which defied the need to bounce. Their hundred came up off about 12 overs and they rocketed to 230-odd off their allotted overs which is their largest score in any form of cricket. Ouch. I fielded (in my own humble opinion as well as I have for years) down by the home side who were laughing it up at our expense. Nothing rude but it’s hard not to get excited when you’re rocketing along at 20 an over….Fielding Moment of the Day was Dave Allen (“Hollywood” – no idea why) managing a tremendously athletic run out.

On a treacherous outfield, the Lion gamely sprinted, dived and defended against this assault and pulled it back a little at the end, especially with Mark Martin’s marvellous comeback after an initial over went for 6,000 runs. His doosra, top spinner and doodlebug all working like a charm, he bamboozled his way to 7-13 as we bowled them out for 41. Dammit…I’m talking shite again….

Anyhow, the innings ended with one moment of controversy as one of their batsmen clearly failed to walk after an edge and a glorious catch from Dom. When you’re 185-2 in the 16th over, there’s just no need to cheat. The controversy largely passed me by as I had dived onto the concrete pathway earlier and was inspecting the fact I had shaved several centimetres off my hip bone.

 

Our batting, made from the world’s finest balsa wood, initially fought back with fours fizzing away before Chris defended and dislodged his bails and a marvellous cameo from MP ended after he had carted the ball all over the place.

We battled through to the bitter end scoring 389-0 with Balders managing 461 before being bowled by a 110mph yorker of devasting power. Aka, a slow inviting pie. A few lusty blows were dispatched but sadly we were second best by a long, long, long, long way. And I can’t help feeling that I’m glad I’m playing for the Lion rather than that bunch. And with that, some advice from our chairman Dom in case we are thinking about playing that badly again: